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A boring CYN

2010-02-21T16:19:00.002+08:00

21 Feb 2010,

What a boring and lonely Chinese New Year..

This year CYN is 180 different from last year. This year most of my cousins suddenly brought along their boyfriends and girlfriends for visiting. Seeing them made me remember the happy moments of last year CYN..haiz...this year i will be celebrating alone..

Hope next year will be better and i wont be lonely again.....

2009-12-20T16:41:00.002+08:00

Oct 20,

Christmas is coming!!! so is HELLDAY!!! This christmas i think i have spent quite a big sum on presents and other stuff to help and bring smile to ppl around me. When i will be happy when i can see them happy and smiling. This i have been thinking alot. Findind ways to improve myself and things i should try since i am single. Single maybe "freedom" but sometimes you just need someone outside of your family to talk about stuff but wont turn you to deaf ear, it is hard. Someone to hold on when feeling lonely and down. Hope to find the person one day.......

2009-12-06T10:49:00.002+08:00

Oct 6,

Will be booking in today..it will be another though week again. During last week, my cabin buddies and i got the chance to sit down and chit chat abt life. We talk about how are we gonna survived hell week, wat motivation will we have to pull through the week. What i was surprised was most of them have the same thought as me. We all thinks that having having someone that you care and love very much is the best motivation bcos during our hammering and suffering sessions, the image of their faces and think abt them always the onli way to pull us through. One of my instructor told us when going through NDU, we will always be push to the limit. The human body will always run through 3 stages when push through the limit. First our physical (muscles) how much strength in yr muscles that can push you. After your physical fail, it will be yr mind. Your mind will start to numb your body and push you. If both physical and mind fail, it will be our body last hope and also the strongest one. It will then be your heart. Your heart will always keep showing you the reasons and who will be waiting for you when everything have done. With all that men can do the unthinkable and survived.

So i really have no idea how to survive my hell week, but there are still some feeling and thought of you in my heart. Hope if you wont be angry if i just used that to pull through my hell week.....

2009-11-29T15:08:00.002+08:00

29 Nov,

Wow time passes really fast. Its already going to the end of the year. Its sun already, going back to camp liao...This coming weeks will be really though...more hammering and suffering...
Hahaha Wats great about today is i am able to learn to play MAJONG!! its confusing at the beginning but in the end i got the pace....Got to learn from the pros thx to Larry, Eugene and Michelle. But i still need more practice hehe..we played over night and we are not even shagged onli hungry hahaha...hope to have more sessions like this...

Happy to see her smiling and enjoying herself. But i not so sure the thing she is playing with its okie. Just be careful, hope u will not get burn....

2009-11-20T00:11:00.002+08:00

Oct 19,

POP lo!!! haha Finally. But the ceremony is not just marching and receive our beret, its a whole lot of culture shock..its a long period of hammering. If u eager to find out wat is it, go try to go through NDU BMT haha.....Btw my life is getting better and i start to see the life in a better way. I decided to carry on with my life and i stop think about other past stuff. Its time to upgrade myself and make turn myself into a better person. Will try to obtain as must skills as I can during this years in army. By earning the pride and honor, I will then be a man. So ya, I promise to change into a stronger and better Alex compared to now...

("Fated to Suffer, Willing to Endure, Pride to Glory") HoooYA!!!!!

2009-11-15T16:43:00.003+08:00

Nov 14,

Just got back from confinement. Its a shit week for me, bad things keep coming first was batchboys caught smoking, then peeing at the grinder and then tornado plus constant hammering finally confinement on sat...From 2nd Oct, my life is in the mess...dont know why this keep happpening to me. Why me? Why must i suffer all this things. But at least half of the suffering is over for me. Now hopping to find my one true love. The one that really cares about me and do things for me from her heart, someone that love me more then i love her. Where is she? When can i meet her? Time will tell......let destiny bring us together...

2009-11-08T10:34:00.002+08:00

Oct 8,

The world is going nuts this few months. Things around me are in the mess. I think i really need a rest from this mess. I have to start forgetting and letting go alot of unecessary worries. I should start doing things for myself and prepared myself for the future. The future that i will build for the person that truly cares and love me for wat i am....

The nights out

2009-11-07T14:36:00.002+08:00

Oct 7,

Just came back from the nights out with my poly friends. During the nights out, I have notice somethings....somethings that i felt being lied to again..But nvr mind, I am through with it and not gonna care anymore. Why? cos i have being constantly being lied to and my trust for her had gone to minimum...So i will not care wat she do, wat happened to her even she want to screw up her life.
I have given up on her.
How are you gonna continue to like someone if the person nvr care abt my feelings and time in time again hurting you. What my bunkmate had told me, "Ask yrself, is she really worth to do so much even she do not care abt yr feelings isn't she being selfish. " At first i keep on defending her saying she will change, she will change but now she is no more the person i knew 2 and a half years ago.

So good luck to her future cos I will not be there for her anymore.........

Its Over

2009-11-06T10:52:00.003+08:00

Nov 6,

The Day have finally come.....the question have asked and the answer is given..
There will be no return anymore..I have finally got the reason to totally give up on her and i do not need to wait for her anymore...she enjoy her life now. So i should be like her, i should start to enjoy my life without her in my mind anymore...let the memories fade deep into my heart....

2009-11-05T19:49:00.002+08:00

Nov 5,

Yea Field Camp is over hahaha...I total enjoy the camping trip but we totally went all out dirty and smelly...I got to dip into a pool of smelly muddy water and we got to shoot blanks rounds haha worst was we got to sleep on muddy ground. The worst day was not over, on wed we got nights out till 930. I went out with mich and larry to my old work place to have my dinner at my french chef friend restaurant. Later i when to say hi to my ex colleague and then we went to eat ice cream. But I did not know was i am late!!! When i got back, my batch boys all got hammered bcos of me....So Pai sei!!!But i got the wost cos i got to booked out later then them haiz.....but i am not sad cos there is nothing to look forward for after i book out...

I was shocked to see that she have changed alot. Hope she will be happy.Don't know if there is still any hope for me anymore but it still put a smile in me when i see her alright....

2009-11-01T18:12:00.002+08:00

1 Nov,

I going back to camp liao..looking forward to the field camp. Hope my rifle will not be stolen by my instructors hahaha if nvr i will be able to booked out on thursday!!! Yea!!
I just seen a post on facebook, she stead (she will be looking forward and nvr look back and waiting for someone out there).

(So can i ask, have you really let go of your past? If not, you will always hurt the someone that is out there. You once told me you have forgotten of the past and wants to continue peacefully with me and I time and time again reminded you but still in the end you still turned back and hurt me in the sametime. This is the only thing I am disappointed in you. If you really want to look for the someone out there, Please, as yr ex-bf, as a friend and as someone that love and cares about you. I really hope you really let go and totally forget yr past or else it will haunt you for the rest of yr life...So think abt it and ask yr heart.)

2009-10-31T09:51:00.003+08:00

Oct 31,

Hi cant wait for next week field camp. I think it will be tough but its onli 2 1/2 days and i onli have 2 weeks more before I POP for my BMT!!! Yea!!
Hmmmm...for the past few weeks everytime i raise my head and look at the morning stars, i will keep thinking and wonder do my relationship with mich could still salvage and should i still keep thinking about her...Some of my batchboys told me not to keep hurting yourself and just forget about her. I was told the first relationship will always be very hard to get over. So wat I think I should do is keep telling myself is to fight for something else instead for her. Fight for early booked out and night out must always be for myself not for her anymore..

(I know these few weeks you keep telling me you have something to do during the weekend and you do not wan to tell me wat you're doing. Its okie I have no rights anymore to wan you to tell me. But i hope you are happy with your life now...I will also be happy if you have really find your true happiness.)

2009-10-24T16:34:00.002+08:00

Oct 24

Ya just booked out again but tml going back...so soon but i am not sad cos there is nothing for me to be enjoying this weekend..nobody for me to look forward to meet. Btw I got silver for my IPPT, ppl may say is nothing but to be is a great improve. Wat push me was when my CSM told us on tuesday, was silver and above are allow to have nights out. After the told us, I straight away knew wat I fighting for. I am fighting to see her, just have a look at her is just good enough for me. But i am always ready to be rejected. So on tuesday, I took a taxi to her house. When i reached her home, my heart was full of joy. I later entered her room to wait for Eugene. During the period, I have so much things in my mind that want to tell her but I know I cant cos it may end up not able to see her again..I keep telling myself to try to forget abt her but i just cant do it bcos i still love her in my heart. Thinking abt her while looking at the stars and moon and dreaming abt her everynight when i sleep. But wat i can do now is just to wait for her as long as i can and hope to get her heart back one day.....

(Really happy to see you eventhough it just a while. I hope getting a single digit for my 2.4km will make you have? This then will be my new goal to fight for and hope with that i could see you more offen. Also do take care of yourself try not to carry too much heavy load. Seeing you in pain will always makes me sad....even its over, I still would like to say to you, "I LOVE U"..........)

Another weekend

2009-10-18T12:31:00.003+08:00

17 Oct

What a special day, bcos I went out for a food hunt!! Organize by Mich. Even it just another outing day, I am happy cos I can able to go out instead of staying at home and also able to see her again. I am happy to see everything seems to be okie for her. But I still wondering when the time will come
when everything will be back totally normal. The some places we went to eat was really hard to find especially the itallian restaurant but we found it in the end. Most of the food we had were great. What i love the most is the T-bone Steak!! It was sooo good!!! After everything, too bad we got so sent mel home cos her mum need her french loaf for her curry! Aiya!! After sending her home we went to geylang to eat durian too bad no Mao San Wang.... What a tired but fruitful day!!! haha..

(Eventhough this happened to us, I hope things will turn out the right way not well cos if you are not able solve and get through with this, as wat i told larry yesterday, this problems with always be there to hunt for the rest of your lives. I really dont wan to see you end up nowhere. Remember, I will always be there to lend you my shoulders and ears for you no matter wat happens....)

The new Beginning

2009-10-11T18:48:00.004+08:00

Oct 11 Sun

Sian going back to camp..another 5 days of shit again!!!
I have finally felt better eventhough it end this way. The pain was not knowing the truth and the reason we broke up, and I am really thankful that she told me the truth. Even I have suspected it long time ago and have even warned her, things still end up this way. Hope she really know wat she is doing. I will still respect her decision. I also hope the person will treat her well and take care of her better then me....Or else....hehehe
So...Wats for me? Since i am single now...Chicks and babes around the world be warn!!!!Here I COME!!!!!!!!!

2009-10-10T12:36:00.003+08:00

Oct 10 Sat

Just came back from camp..
Its hell for me cos the training is though and i still trying to get over the pain i got last week. Lucky i have a group of batchmates. They were there to talk to me about the pain, some even have went through the same things as me. They played some touching songs in my room and tell me how to go through with my life. I am grateful to them...

(Really is there no more love? or is there something bothering u? If u really dont wanna see me, u can tell straight to me..I will just walk off from your life. Eventhough i will still think abt u and slow the pain will ease away..thx for the lovely 2 1/2 years, it will always be my best days....)

2009-10-04T09:21:00.004+08:00

4th Oct Sun

Today i will be going back to camp.But i have no moral to go back in...
Yesterday I went out for Casilda birthday celebration. I decided to go bcos there is still a chance for me to see her..as the song by Rascal Flatt "What hurt the most is being so close" yet you know is not the same as last time.
I will wait as long as I can but I hope my feeling for you will not be gone....

(If the past is wat you worry to affect our relationship? Don't...Stop thinking.. I can close my eyes for your past, I can give you time to handle your loose ends and I even can drop my tears and blood for you everyday and night. So only thing i need for you is to not give up on me, on us......)

2009-10-03T08:35:00.003+08:00

2nd October Fri...

Its my worest Black Friday of my life...
Everything bad just appear in front of me. Why? Why? What the hell have I done to deserve all these. First, was my No. 4 pants went missing and few weeks more i will have my Field Camp..
Second, my ankle got injured and there is a sharp pain..

Lastly....The Pain of all Pain..my gf after 2 plus long years broke up with me....

What hurt the most is she told me that the love for me was already gone a year ago.
Everyone told me when you are in the army always have a goal for yourself so that I can go through the training no matter it is hard or not....but now wat goal I still have...
The whole time I will be thinking, "Its okie, just 5 days shit throw me all of them i will still take it cos in the end i will be able to see her"
Now....wat should I look forward for?

(So tell me, wat made you loss the feeling?)

The day on Wednesday!!!

2007-10-13T23:44:00.000+08:00

HELLO EVERYONE!!!!

Really very long nvr update my blog...... sry sry pai sei!!!
On weds, i when out with my bao bei to do my hair!!! ya do my hair i went to dyed my hair dark blue!!! But the sad thing is there is no change!!! i onli just got my hair dye black, cant see the blue at all. Sob..sob after i did my hair we when to orchard to get my bao bei shoes then later we went for a walk in far east looking for earings and necklace bend for my bao bei. Around 5 we went to plaza singapura to look for our new ring it was so cool and style!! Later we went to LAO BEJING to eat my dinner cos bao bei nvr eat peking duck b4 so we when to try the food was really good!!
then my bao bei bought me a swatch watch and bought herself one too!! thx bao bei its B.E.A.Utiful!! That day is one of my greatess day of my life!!!

BAO BEI LOVE U ALL THE WAY!!! I WONT LEAVE U ONE DE. No matter wat!!!!
No Living or Dead is able to seprate us!! Let the bad memories and dreams to be forgotten!!!

End of dayz

2007-08-24T00:16:00.000+08:00

YEAH!!! Finished my Exam liao!!

Today came to school early to study my TP... At first was very stress but got a shocked by my bao bei who told me she is not coming to school, okay la today's paper can be done.. cos i expect the worst... tml is my bao bei exam... SO JIA YOU!! U CAN DO IT!!

2007-08-10T23:41:00.000+08:00

hey so long nvr blog already...

Just finished my foop exam, quite hard but i think maybe can pass..This week is a interesting week went to NDP and saw the bigger version of Sentosa's "Song of the Sea". Its pretty amazing performance onli the singing is quite boring.. the rest was COOL!!
The Best thing was, i brought my baobei michelle whom nvr been to a NDP before... I was happy to see her smile and amaze by the balloons floating around the arena... Her eyes so wide that i may think any sec longer her eyes will 'poke' out of her face..HAHAHAHa
But every pro there will be a con...the worst is going back home it was jam packed!! WE were squeeze like a sardine.. we ended at 8.30 and reach my baobei home at 10!! HAiz.. this will be the last week we can enjoyed, got to prepare for exam!! JIA U!! JIA U!!
All the best to everyone!!

sorry....

2007-07-22T18:35:00.000+08:00

Create your own at BlingyBlob.com

Judgement WEEK!!

2007-07-18T23:31:00.000+08:00

Not much to say....

Finally judgement week is over....
I really got alot of internal injuries during this week....started off with telecoms lab test which i barely make it.....next was on Wednesday, i got double trouble..... got to study for Jap Quiz and later in the evening i have my telecoms retest.. that is very stresss...and on friday i got to go through a stressful day a continues of ACDA, EG2 then my ACDA retest. Stresss very stresss!!!!

i have been hurt after hurt, shot after shot straight on my heart.....PAIN PAIN...why do u wan to do it to me???
U relieve me and then hurt me again.....wats with the card if u keep hurting me. Give it to me if u are very sure its the last time u will going to hurt me...I am sorry to disturb u today.... its hurt alittle but i will still have u in my heart... LOVE U ALWAYS NO MATTER WAT..

SexyName!!! WHoooo...

2007-07-17T10:25:00.000+08:00

Get Your Sexy Name

Wat a Day!!!

2007-07-13T08:02:00.000+08:00

hey hey this is my first ENtry!!!
COOL!!! ritez!!!
Wat a Day For me...... In the morning, came to school and forgot my timetable run round blk 4 & 5 just to find my class and lucky just found it before i am late.......during lunch i ran from blk 6 to SIM in 5 mins time while thinking that i am able something of my choice.. but never know i got to eat a nearly full pizza and challenged my dear to drink some herbal tea.....After lunch,i went through a whole straight of boring classes....nearly drop died....AHH... finally able to dismiss and we went to ang mo kio hub to buy something illegal hehe.... u think i care? after that we got to sweat out by playing Para para which i did very bad....T.T . While we having fun, we start to get hungry we "rush" to the shopping mall hopping to get to eat New York New York but there was a long queue....Wat the hell!! everywhere also have long queue, end up we have no choice but to setter our dinner in foodcourt wat a luck.....U think that was worest? U have no idea... after our meal, we walk pass a international food feasta and someone dare me to join a stupid challenge which i end up agree in,(WAt am i thinking!!) i got to promote the food feasta on stage to everyone through the mic......Crazy crazy stufff So u think ur day was weird? U HAVE NO IDEA!!!